i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
