ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
