rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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