Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
