wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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