Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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