There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
