I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
