That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
