we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
