someone get that fucking seahorse.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize