Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
