how hairy? two words: wookie tits
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
