that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
