I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
