someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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