who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
