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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize