i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
