capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
