PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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