when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
love makes seman taste better
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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