I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had to coat check the pizza.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
