at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
