Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
