I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
