I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
