For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
