you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
