was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Still dying that you shit outside
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
