You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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