Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
