Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
