you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
