Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
