Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
wow bdsm is so cute
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