brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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