Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
