In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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