It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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