THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
