i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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