i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
