super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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