Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
