I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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