all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
