zippers are such a cool invention
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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