Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
