evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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