So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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