we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
