I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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