Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
