If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
