Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
